Another Day

I always think my life will be perfect once I'm thin (again). I remember the days when I used to be thin - I wouldn't mind going shopping with my friends, I had tons of confidence...I was HAPPY. And that's what I want back mainly. I want to go out with my friends and not feel like the fattest girl on this planet...I wanna try out all sorts of clothes and feel great in them... some people say it's all in your head and you should feel confident about yourself no matter what size you are. Hell, that doesn't work for me. Not one bit.
So here I am, once again. I really want things to work out...Somehow I feel I'll be better at my job if I'm thinner. Feel my life will begin to improve. Even if it doesn't - at least I'll be thin. And that's reason enough to be happy..

I sort of went off track and ate a few (three) cookies last night...staying up and watching football always makes me hungry. But I guess three is better than finishing off an entire packet...hmmmm....

Okay, that's all from me. x

Progress (sort of)

I was supposed to fit into this shirt by the end of last week...but it still is a bit snug. I can button it up but I can't wear it anywhere outside because it obviously still a little small. Sigh. But I guess even that's progress.
I haven't been able to get to the gym as frequently as I'd planned but I guess even three days at the gym is better than nothing at all. My squash partner is on vacation so I haven't played in over a week (it really is a bore playing by yourself). :(
In August, I'll be heading 'home' for a short while. I hate visiting my extended family. The only thing they talk about is my weight...and right in front of me, like I'm not even there!!! No one bothers to ask how I'm doing...or about my job...or my future plans...ugh! I hate (some) of them.

So I really want to drop down to a size 12 before I meet them. At least they'll get off my back and I can have a nice time (by myself). So yeah, I'm really bugged about that!

Another thing that really annoyed me was this article in Marie Claire: I Married A Total Stranger

Once you've read it, and if you're Indian/Asian/whatever, you'll know what I mean. This woman's clearly written this keeping a particular demographic in mind. What a bunch of crap! I'm really disappointed with Marie Claire. Tsk!

Anyway, that's all for now. Love x

*Edit* The article per se is kind of old. But wth!

Bootayyyy

I wrote that just because it's stuck in my head, I don't know why :P
Anyway, moving on - this week went pretty well. I know I was supposed to write down everything I wrote down but I couldn't even find time to log in and blog about it. Nonetheless, I'm pretty happy with the progress diet-wise.
I could've worked out a bit more but I guess even a little bit's better than nothing at all. :) Tomorrow I'm planning to play squash with a friend. The game's addictive :)
Ohh, this reminds me, I have to but some new workout clothes! AND there's a HUGE office party next week, so I have to buy a nice outfit for that! aaagh! I soooo wish I were THIN!!! Ugh! Ugh! I really want to look nice for a change! :(

Anyway, I think I'll make a list of things to do by the end of this weekend (i.e. Friday):

1. Buy some workout clothes. At least a couple of sweatpants and a few tees.
2. Buy nice outfit for office party
3. Lose 80lbs by next week :P k - but at least 5lbs...hmmm...
4. Practice Spanish verbs
5. Start writing my SOP

Alright, that's all for now...Besos x

Thinspo

I think it's safe to say that summer's finally here! :) And what better way to get some motivation than some awesome thinspo! :) :)










*Totally adore what this girl's wearing*











Don't have too many on my comp right now, so will upload more later.
As far as progress goes, right now I think I am a size 16 already b/c I wear size 16 jeans (River Island) but it changes from store to store. So I'll be sticking to only one store to keep track of my weight-loss. I don't fit into size 16s from H&M - so that's my target at the moment :) I own a shirt that's size 16 and can't button it up (anymore) :P So have to fit into that within two weeks *fingers crossed*

Time's time to head to the gym now. Love x

(Ps - The sizes mentioned at UK sizes)

Back In Action

Ok my absence was intentional. My holiday plans got cancelled so I made new ones and those got cancelled too (thank you volcano)...so I decided to just take a 'mental' holiday...didn't work for a week...just played Gears of War & Tekken 6...read some amazing books - and started playing squash! I'm in love with the game :)
Although weight-loss has been at the back of my mind, I knew it was time to get some perspective and new motivation. So right now I'm just gonna focus on working out (yes, I renewed my gym subscription and have been going religiously) and just making my lifestyle more 'active'. Oh yeah, although I'm not gonna strictly count calories, I've started to write down what I eat and shall be putting it up here. :)
And yeah, I'm not giving up thinspo - I loveeeee those pictures - so I'll definitely be putting up more pics from now on.
My next weigh in - a week from now.
Love x

Exercise and an Engagement

The past 10 days, a friend and I have been going on these super long walks every evening (with my pup of course). We walk and walk till we are exhausted and then walk some more :)
So in the morning, I do some mat exercises (especially for my knee) and in the evening its these walks. I will be renewing my gym membership the end of this month (after I get my salary). So I'm really hoping to see some great results by the end of March!
For now though, I'm not concentrating on weight loss - because, to be really honest, it sometimes gets really depressing. :)
My current target is to fit into an old pair of jeans (they are about 2 years old). I want to fit into them before my trip to China. I'm positive I'm gonna be the fattest person everywhere I go! Haha! Sometimes I feel like cancelling the whole thing.

Anyway, that's that. *fingers crossed* :)

Last week a friend of mine got engaged :) And I'm super excited!! She is supposed to get married in December. Totally looking forward to the wedding! And she's south Asian - so that means an entire week of celebration!!!! Yay! Although I'm part South Asian, I've only been to a couple of weddings *sigh*

I'm also looking forward to getting some 'ethnic' outfits stitched. It's all gonna be colourful and like those Bollywood musicals (I hope) :D

Some photos from Flickr, thought I'd share :)










The one below is a Bengali Wedding - The male members from the Bride's side life her up hiiiiigh so that the groom cannot put the garland around her neck ;) I've seen this in one of my cousin's wedding! It's sooo much fun!

Happy!

I can finally cross out my first target!!!!! Yay!!!
As of yesterday, I weigh 178.5lb - SO happy! :)
To be honest, I thought I'd be here earlier, but I'm not going to dwell on all that now...the past week, I have been moderately working out (at home) and will start going to the gym once I get back from my trip.
I'm kind of getting addicted to the scales now, hehe, I checked my weight twice today.. and I haven't been eating much either...I think I'm going back to my old habits. Which isn't good, look where it's got me (after I lose the weight, I put it back on SO easily)...So I'm just going to eat like a 'normal' human being. Nothing more, nothing less. I can feel the difference already...I'm somehow happier, my clothes don't feel as snug...I hope I can stick to this permanently.
I just get so complacent, once I start losing the weight, I'm like, "ohhh this is so easssyyyy! I can indulge a little"...and I start eating all the wrong things...sigh

Anywayyyyyyyyy, like I said, no dwelling on bad stuff :)
Hope I can begin blogging regularly like before... :)

Love x